A Letter Not Really about Porn: Part 1

*Note: This is a long letter broken into several parts for those with shorter attention spans. You can read it in its entirety Here.

Reading This article would be helpful, although perhaps not necessary.

A Letter for the writer of “A Letter to My Sons about Pornography”

Dear Liz,

I wonder what happened in your life to make you sit down and pen this letter. I wonder if it was a web history forgotten to be cleared, or perhaps web history cleared a little too frequently. Maybe it was the frantic closing of web browsers as you entered the computer room. I wonder how much harder it is to parent in this digital age were you can no longer lift up a mattress to check for images of scantily clad buxom beauties. Your mini bio says you have two little boys, so maybe they are not tech savvy enough just yet to find their way to illicit websites. Perhaps it was a tale of woe of a marriage of someone you know ruined. Either way I applaud you for opening a dialogue with your children about sex and even more importantly, how men treat women.

In my opinion far too many Christian homes treat sex as too taboo to discuss, creating far more problems than they hope to solve by burying their heads in the sand. And as someone who saw their first illicit magazine at the tender age of 7 (how the world has changed in the short 26 years I’ve been alive), I know that (age appropriate) conversation cannot happen soon enough.

I have no intention of trying to convince you that consumption of pornography, or the sex industry in general is right or wrong, but I do think it is time for you to have another difficult conversation with yourself, and with your boys, a conversation that maybe you don’t want to have. You see, as you were staking your moral flag in opposition to lust, pornography, and the sex industry, I was amazed at how closely your concern for how those things affected women today mirrored my own concerns about how the Bible says God (and his chosen people) treated women throughout the Bible. You see, I simply cannot understand how a Christian can be opposed to something like pornography on any sort of moral grounds and ignore the way God is depicted treating women.

Below is a list of claims you made about pornography or woman that I find difficult to square away with the Bible. I’ve modified of them for brevity, I hope you don’t mind.

  • Pornography fuels the industry that enslaves and trafficks women.
  • Men are to care for women, not exploit and dominate
  • Women are strong, capable, and equal
  • [Women are] not objects to be used and discarded.
  • The porn industry diminishes both men and women, instead of celebrating them as complex and glorious image-bearers of their Creator.
  • Consumer society devalues human beings as they’re offered up for consumption.
  • You are called by God to reject sexual consumerism.
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